"We have two healthy boys now but it took us five pregnancies to get to this stage. We were always fortunate to fall pregnant easily but unfortunately for some reason my body has difficulty holding on to a pregnancy full term. Our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. At the time it seemed very sad but was certainly not crushing as we were both able to accept that there was obviously something wrong and the baby would not have been strong enough to survive. The doctors suggested that typically miscarriages in the first trimester are due to chromosomal issues so it seemed to make sense. I fell pregnant the very next month and we had a smooth pregnancy and birth. There was some nervousness but not a high level of anxiety or stress during the second pregnancy. Less than a year later we were pregnant again. The third pregnancy seemed to be going well, we knew we were having another boy and had named him. We were going to be moving overseas for a few months so we had his room set up and were on track for the arrival of our second son. Sadly I went into labour and gave birth to our son before his little body was strong enough to survive. The fourth pregnancy went the same way with me giving birth to another little boy far too early. Our fifth pregnancy and birth was difficult but thankfully resulted in a healthy baby boy.While technically our second and third losses still fall into the category of miscarriage as a "late loss" for us they were very different experiences to the first trimester miscarriage of our first loss. In my experience there is a much higher level of grief associated with a loss when you have carried the child longer, connected with him/her, in our case know the sex and have named him. There is also the difference once you experience labour and get to hold the child as opposed to in an early miscarriage where you tend to have pain, heavy bleeding etc but do not have the birthing and connection of being able to "meet" and hold your child. For both our boys that I gave birth to and lost they are a very real part of my life whereas the early miscarriage does not feel on the same level. I have my boys ashes with me and still think about them.