"Responsible people accept control over their own emotions, and thus their happiness. They choose positive attitudes like cheerfulness, enthusiasm and generosity. ...everyone has the power to choose between positive and negative attitudes and to make positive and negative choices. ...Bad things do happen, but the happiest and most successful people in life learn to put tragedies, failures and hurt feelings behind them." www.parenting.org RESPONSIBILITY Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV. Boys Town Press.
Bethany Hamilton is a successful person, despite the tragedies, failures and hurts she has encountered in her life. You may like to read her autobiography or watch the movie of her story - "Soul Surfer".
The quote above is part of an article that presents 12 points children need to be taught by parents so they will become responsible individuals. Here is another excerpt from the introduction.
"One of the most important character traits a parent can install in his or her child is responsibility. Responsibility is marked by how well we make choices in life and how we deal with the results. Responsible people purposefully choose their attitudes, words and actions, and accept responsibility for the consequences of their choices. Responsibility is a complex virtue, requiring much time, patience and practice to acquire. ...responsibility is a key element in leading a happy and productive adult life..."
One of the 12 concepts Parenting.org presents in their article is CHOOSING POSITIVE ATTITUDES. They give several great bullet points, three of which I want to elaborate on.
1. FEELINGS FUEL ATTITUDES ~
I know this to be true. Days when I feel strong, courageous and loving, I am forgiving, kind and generous in my thoughts and attitude to awkward, unfair and difficult situations. Days when I am fearful, anxious, panicky or full of sorrow, leave me with very different attitudes when living in difficulties. My feelings drive my attitude.
Children are even more ruled by their feelings because of their immaturity.
2. CHOOSING TO CHANGE OUR PERSPECTIVE ~
Immediately an unexpected trouble occurs we naturally respond by getting angry, feeling sad or thinking everything is hopeless. But after some space or time to think things through, we can choose to change our perspective or attitude. Some people call this process reflection or contemplating the situation.
Even children can learn this process, and they depend on parents to show them, lead and teach them how this is done.
Charlotte Mason in here book Home Education, says, "The child is born doubtless, with the tendencies which should shape their future; but every tendency has its branch roads, its good and evil outcome; and to put the child on the right track for the fulfilment of the possibilities inherent in him, is the vocation of the parent." p.109.
Or again, "Let her (meaning the parent) change the child's thoughts before even the bad temper has had time to develop into conscious feelings, much less act: take them out of doors, send them to fetch or carry, tell them or show them something interesting, - in a word, give them something else to think about; but all in a natural way, and without letting the child perceive that they are being treated..." p.167.
3. NEGATIVE ATTITUDES AFFECT OUR PERCEPTION OF FACTS AND OTHERS' INTENTIONS ~
Suspicion, mistrust, one's condescending view of others, one's low view of self, fear or anxiety, can all affect the receiving of facts or the study of others' intentions and motives, resulting in a faulty and inaccurate evaluation of a situation. This is a profound point. So many people are living inconsequential or stalled lives simply because their evaluations of life happenings around them, is faulty due to their negative attitudes. This is not a criticism.
* the young professional man who won't allow his workmate to get too close, fearing that it may jeopardise his future career.
* the teenage girl who dropped out of school and won't apply for any job because she's convinced she would be turned down.
* the office worker who won't accept the help of a colleague, believing they only want to out-do them and show them to be incompetent.
* the man who always proudly talks up the achievements of his own children, believes the neighbour's son has pulled strings to be awarded Master Chief New Zealand.
* the woman who permanently lives in dishevelment in all areas of her life, thinking she can't get organised as she wouldn't be able to maintain that orderliness afterwards.
THISWEEKWITHTHEKIDS ~ "... and in the early days, when a child's face is an open book to their parents, the habit of sweet thoughts must be kept up, and every selfish, resentful, unamiable movement of children's minds observed in the countenance must be changed before consciousness sets in." Charlotte Mason School Education. p.136.
AGAIN THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO TALK ABOUT HERE - THIS IS WHY I AM WORKING ON SETTING UP MY BUSINESS TO MEET PARENTS ONE-ON-ONE AND DISCUSS ISSUES SO THEY HAVE A PLAN TO WORK WITH IN THEIR FAMILY.
Cathy
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