Four Mums who are celebrating Mothers Day this year with their first baby, talk about themselves and their experiences in motherhood.
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‘Beautiful chaos’ are the words that come to mind, when I think about what it is like to be thrown into the world of motherhood. The beginning of an incredible adventure. Rico David Hayden was born on the 15th of February, two weeks overcooked. Our family created. I of course had already been a mum for 9 months, as my body grew this little miracle.
The most overwhelming, amazing moment of all was when we heard him cry and lay eyes on him for the first time. This baby was so loved and wanted.
The first 6 weeks were challenging, as Rico had both reflux and colic. I barely had time to shower or eat. Everything else got pushed to the side. It was during this time that my own amazing mum came alongside me. What a blessing. She helped me to cope and encouraged me every day that I was doing a good job. Mothers are a gift from God. My wonderful husband’s support, hugs and practical help, were a necessity for my survival during this time as well.
Today Rico is 7 weeks old and I finally got to plant my organic vegetable garden for the winter. It is little projects like this which bring me great pleasure and make me feel like a human being again.
I love being a mum. Words cannot even explain the joy I felt when he looked at me with those big blue eyes and smiled for the first time. He is delightful and brings so much laughter to our home.
If I could offer some advice for soon to be mums it would be;
1) Enjoy the journey and remember it does get easier.
2) Put yourself and your family first.
3) Don’t try to be the perfect parent, it’s impossible.
Have a wonderful Mother’s Day
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It is very surreal that I am about to celebrate my first Mothers' Day. Mothers' Day has always been about celebating MY mum and now I get to be in on the fun! To be honest, it hasn't completely sunken in yet that I am a mother. Hopefully Mothers' Day will help reinforce my beautiful new identity.Hamish is almost four months. (D.O.B 18-12-11)
Since becoming a Mum, I have had to get more used to being 'out of controll' and this has been hard for me. Also, I think I have become more patient (this is an inevitable trait of a new mum!)
My wise sister-in-law gave me the great advice to keep doing the things that I love that connect me with who I was before I had a baby... so walks in the sun and being a frequent visitor at the pram friendly cafes have kept me going!!!
My little boy has a dominant birthmark of his face. We are told it will fade but for the time being it is quite confronting and sometimes awkward when introducing him. It is such a minor thing but I was struggling with it and I hated the fact that I was struggling with it! One day I was looking at Hamish and I felt compelled to kiss his birthmark and tell him that I love him just the way he is... with or without his bright red birthmark. I was amazed at this heart of mine and surprised by these new feelings. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I felt so bonded with this little person. I had a small taste that day, of the way God loves us unconditionally.
My advice to mums-to-be is, hang in there... the early days are really tough but the smiles start and the fog lifts. Also, on a very practical note, cook lots of meals for your freezer during your maternity leave. Cooking is the last thing you'll feel like doing in the busy early days with baby.
I am so excited to celebrate my first Mother's day with my baby. I did celebrate last year while I was pregnant but this year will be extra special because I will be celebrating with Tilly and with the knowledge of how amazing it is to be a mom. Tilly is six months at the moment. She will be a few days shy of seven months on Mother's Day.
Besides it taking an eternity to get out the door these days! ... since becoming a mom, my heart feels bigger; I just love my little girl so much and I am remembering to enjoy each day and what it brings because time flies. Despite the crazy busyness of having a baby/child(ren), I think the most important thing to hold on to is relationships. Don't stop date nights with your husband or spending time with your friends. Sometimes you can and should get a babysitter, other times you can't but babies are very portable and will sleep anywhere if they are tired. Those who love you won't mind putting up with some baby crying and distraction and you will love the adult company.
My advice to other moms or those who would like to be moms: take all advice with a grain of salt. Lots of people will want to give you advice, most of them are well meaning but YOU know your baby best. Also, you will never be able to "afford" children so don't let that stop you from starting a family if you feel ready.
Life is so much different from this time last year! Our 11 month old is walking now & he's a really busy social butterfly who loves the out-doors. Which means I'm busy, constantly! I'm forever trying to keep bugs, plants & dirt out of his mouth & always chasing him & playing with him.
I love our life now that Judah is in it! He is such a blessing & Andrew & I have grown so much, together, as well as individually. I know I'm a lot stronger now from digging deep in the tough times. But my heart also breaks alot easier now too, at the sight of Judah hurt or sick or even at the thought of other children being hurt. I laugh more than I ever have because of this special little boy & I care far more deeply than I ever thought possible.
No one told me how dramatically your life can change after bubs. Or if they did maybe my baby brain just blocked it out?!
Initially I tried desperately to hang on to my social life. I just figured Judah would go where I go. But that proved way too stressful because it interrupted his sleep too much, and the boy does like to sleep!
I found that as soon as I embraced the fact that life would never be the same & started to carve out a new social life for myself & our family (one that fit his routine instead of mine/ours) everyone was a lot happier & relaxed. 'Big sacrifice' I hear u say. I thought it would be but amazingly, even though sometimes its extremely hard to put my wants & needs on the back burner, the grass is definitely greener here now. And when I get to witness huge moments like his first steps, first words, new facial expressions, or even if i just get to be there to scoop him up in a big cuddle when he is upset, any sacrifice, be it work, socializing or even time to myself is so worth it because I know this time is so limited & he'll be off to school before I know it & probably too cool to cuddle Mummy the way he does now.
I am so grateful a good friend of mine had the wisdom & foresight to tell me these three things that revolutionized the way I see motherhood;
1. Enjoy & savor every moment. The good ones as well as the bad. Because before you know it, they're grown.
2. Take time to sit back & take it all in. Because time flys.
3. Count your blessings daily because a child is an immensely wonderful gift & motherhood is a privilege some people never get to experience. If you are living this experience, no matter how hard at times, you are blessed!
THISWEEKWITHTHEKIDS ~ when it comes to Sunday don't build up huge expectations of what you are HOPING the kids will give you/do for you/say to you.... because they may not. Take the day as it comes, and savor and enjoy being with your kids, or if they are not with you, relive happy moments with your kids from memorable times of the past.
Next week there will be articles online and in the media about mothers who were let down over what didn't happen on their special day - but no one benefits in reading them.
Head into this Sunday with an open mind that is full of reasons you are thankful for each of your kids.Then yours will be a HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO EVERY MOTHER
Cathy
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